Yes, I'm Changing

Yes, i'm changing. How terrified I am. 

Change is so upsetting. It's as if I am watching life rush by, unable to pause - I have to experience all of these feelings, all of these different moments. Yet here I stand, still rooted in the same body; I am not just twenty two, I am also eighteen and twelve, and six. 

Do not fear change and what it has to offer. Fear, or rejection of change, keeps you in a constant state of agony, denying yourself the love and freedom that change has to offer. Suffering derives from an intense need - the need for things to stay as they are, the need to know what happens next, the need to be happy. Day to night, year to year, each menstrual cycle, summer to winter... every minute we experience life, death, and re-birth, life stops and starts again - you are born anew. Nothing can stay the same, do not wish for things to stay the same. Magic exists beyond the known, so surrender to the unknown. Accept that today is today, and tomorrow will be tomorrow, without knowing what that holds. How your relationships will flourish once you let go of the fear of change, so, for today, I will appreciate the people in my life, because tomorrow they could be somewhere different, or I could be someone different. Encourage change, step out of your comfort zone - ask yourself, who am I? What do I know? Do I even know myself? Aim to love yourself profoundly, then see how your environment changes. The pain that comes with change can feel unbearable, you want to crawl back in - it hurts to change, to grow, but it hurts even more to stay the same. 

I know I cannot control things, therefore I am free.

I am okay today, without knowing what the future holds, who I will be and who I will be surrounded by. Only the now exists and right this second, I feel love, tomorrow it could be sadness - pain, but that is okay. Life is extraordinary. I think this whilst I sit on my bed, alone.

And yet it is still okay to cry for yesterday. Cry for who you were, who you are, and who you are going to be. 

Everything will be okay.