YOUR SUBTLE MISOGYNY IS KILLING US

Perhaps some people are shocked at the statistics produced this year, the hundreds of women murdered at the hands of men, the one woman murdered every three days ¬ a femicide epidemic; most, if not all women, will not be enlightened by this information, we’ve seen it, we’ve experienced it ¬ we know what is going on, we know how men (not all) regard us, how much they dislike us, purely for our differing anatomy.

This collective ignorance amongst (most) men is killing us. The subtle and internalised misogyny, from women too, is killing us. You’ve never been violent towards me, so I am indebted to you, but I remember when I caught you staring for too long, I laughed to cover my uneasiness when you placed your hand on my waste, I grimaced behind your back when I heard your joke about her being “frigid”. Am I another dumb blonde? You ask. Your body hair is disgusting, you say, with hair frothing from your mouth. WHY US? I am a symbol of sex, a slut ¬ I am a symbol of reproduction, a mother. I am always somebody else according to you, I am never me, myself. I do not belong to myself, society is my voyeur.

Dear society,

Your subtle misogyny is killing us. Do you even regard us as human? Do you believe I exist for myself? Or am I an extension of man; you are Adam, and I am Eve. I should be quiet, my words don’t hold as much depth as yours, I am not a man after all. Maybe it is the hysteria talking when I tell you that I deserve to take up as much space as a man ¬ I deserve to be listened to, I deserve to be understood. No, I do not want to be married to a man, ever. Spinster. Maybe a woman. Let me watch, I don’t mind a bit of girl-on-girl action. My body is not mine; it has never been mine under the observing eyes of men. Age 19. A painful and traumatising abortion ¬ you joked for me to “keep my legs closed next time”. How funny, I am not laughing now. Why do men receive a freedom from and freedom to? Should my legs stay closed, or should his boxers stay on? He walks the streets topless, I cannot. Oh, boys will be boys and leave their dirty clothes next to the laundry basket, a woman will always clean up after him. Don’t be such a pussy he says. Do you know what my pussy can do? I wonder why my vagina is synonymous with being weak. Hundreds of years of patriarchal oppression has conditioned your brain, and fooled you into believing we are the weak. To be a pussy is to be strong, it is to birth life into this world, it is resilience, and it is one of a kind, like no other. I demand freedom from subtle misogyny, as I demand freedom from the violence inflicted upon us. Do you regard me as a woman, even when I display masculine qualities greater than your own? Society tells me that I am not a “real” woman because I have transitioned, but I have always been a woman, I know that ¬ perhaps you are too stupid to see. Societies binary constructs of gender have failed us; I am either overtly feminine or unduly masculine ¬ let me be both, and all of them at once. I am here to exist and express myself freely, free from hate, free from violence, and free from misogyny.

Dear society,

Your subtle misogyny is killing us.